I'm out of my post-Christmas lull and motivated once again. I just celebrated my 23rd birthday, classes (and therefore productivity) have started again, my sister gave me a new baby guinea pig to keep me company around the apartment, I've been hitting the gym pretty hard, and I'll start working again before I know it. All of this has brought me back to life and I'm starting to feel like I did earlier in the fall.
With all of this motivation comes the podcast I've been planning for months and I've been working pretty hard to get that completed. It will be called "Fluencycast: A Podcast for People Who Stutter." I've decided on this title due to the fact that "Pat's Stupid Mouth" is too ambiguous and would not be recognized immediately in a directory such as iTunes or iPodder. I started this blog as a way of expressing myself to my friends, but the podcast is not going to be something that friends will find that interesting, especially if you don't already listen to podcasts in the first place. My goal is that other people who stutter will enjoy it and will find it to be supportive and sympathetic. I recorded several demos and uploaded one to iTunes, but it only shows a 1-minute clip and my voice sounds terrible (I definitely need to work on my Radio Voice). If you search for it at the iTunes Music Store, you can find it, but don't bother downloading it because that version currently sucks (though it is cool to actually be listed on iTunes, and it's still better than "Laffy Taffy"). I'll ask the guy from Middlebury who set up the first feed for me to create a new one with the new name. There are so many steps to podcasting that I didn't realize, but I am learning more about it thanks to the "Podcasting for Dummies" book I bought. I am hoping to have a good version of that within two weeks. As time goes on I'll buy a better microphone and better recording software and I'll get the hang of hosting a show. I'm definitely looking forward to it.
Unfortunately, I've decided to scrap the plans for the website for now. I purchased the domain, but I'm realizing that anything posted on the site could be posted on this blog, including links and pictures. I also don't like the name "Pat's Stupid Mouth" anymore. I think it's catchy, but overall I've gotten tired of it and it doesn't seem professional. I'm eating the $19.95 per year or whatever it cost, but the effort it would take to build the site would not be worth the content at this point. Thanks to those who offered to help.
My stuttering still has not improved lately, but I have not practiced at all and I am not as concerned with it right now. I am trying to stutter more openly with people. Practicing with a tape recorder by myself gives me some carryover, but what I need to do is become more comfortable talking to anyone whether I stutter or not, and with that comfort should come better fluency. One thing Dr. Melnick told me is that stuttering therapy should be used for when you do not want to stutter, not necessarily for everyday speech. That is something I've written about and always believed but it felt good to hear from someone else who stutters, especially someone with his Ph.D. in the subject.
I have contacted Toastmasters to see if I could attend their meeting tomorrow morning (January 19), and though they have not returned my email yet, I am going to show up and see what happens assuming I can find the place. Speaking in front of strangers will be a great way to desensitize myself to what other people think, and it could really help prepare myself when I record future podcasts.
The next NSA meeting is January 30, and now that I don't have class on Monday nights, I can finally attend that as well and I am really looking forward to it.
My old friend Brandon told me freshman year that, "the more you sit, the more life sucks." Sitting around for the last month or two has been rough, but now that I'm back in a routine and meaningful things are getting accomplished (and a baby guinea pig is running around my apartment), things are looking brighter.
Till next time.